mark attwood - actor & writer

Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights

Although this was not a massive part, it was fun and has got me discounts in clothes shops in Stockport.
I first saw Peter Kay when he was about 22 and it was obvious to everyone that he was a comedy genius destined for greatness. I supported him at a few gigs at Toby Hadokes’ original Murphys Malarkey, and got to know him a bit. It was after I ditched doing stand-up to go into business that I bumped into Peter on an empty train from Manchester to London. It was one of those days when my taxi was late, my walkman batteries were dead 30 seconds into The Stone Roses, and the canteen on the train was shut, so I couldn’t even console myself with an overpriced coffee. I was walking back head down from said canteen when I saw Peter on his laptop with a giant pair of headphones. “Hiya Mark. I’m writing this sitcom. D’you wanna be in it ?”. I’m sure I got the part of Stu the student because of my southern accent, and although I’m the oldest fattest baldest student on TV, I will be eternally grateful to Peter to let me be part of his world for the day, which sounds a bit luvvy creepy cos it is.

Lenny and Benny in…Sweepers

This was part of Granda/Paramounts “Mad for It” series that showcased North West comedy talent. It was written and performed by myself and one truly mad Stan Vernon. Anyone who knows us knows that Stan and I had a volatile working relationship – this made things difficult for us personally sometimes, but I am still proud of the comedy we managed to create. Spike Milligan even wrote to us to say he liked this film. The idea of it was really to see what we could get away with by hanging some madness on the thinnest of story lines.
Directly influenced by the brilliant Eric Sykes/Tommy Cooper silent film of the ‘60s – The Plank – it is also a precursor for the Edinburgh Festival show that Stan and I performed in August ’98 “Attwood and Vernons Palace of Varieties”. This was considered to be a great show by the handful of people that saw it. We didn’t complete the run because Stan had had enough by the third week – of me and my moods, of a very bad review in the Scotsman, and by the small audiences. Ironically, a fantastic review came out on the day he left saying we were “a refreshing alternative to all the crap stand-up at the Festival, bursting with originality and fresh ideas” – or something like that. Anyway, you’ll either piss yourself at this or stare at the screen blankly. Frankly my dear, I don ’t give a damn…

The Hot Story with John E Blagg

This 12 minute pilot was broadcast as a spoof documentary within "Mark Radcliffe's NWA" (Granda TV's regional arts programme) in '96. The character John E Blagg had previously appeared on "The Cream of the Crop" - he presented this round-up of the Boddingtons Manchester Festival and was spotted by veteran TV producer John Slater, who convinced the big cheese at Granada to give the character a go with his own spot. The character was actually invented on a mad night out at the "In the City" music festival when, along with film-maker buddies Paul Crompton and Krishna Stott, Mark blagged it into various venues using a fake laminate pass. This short film was shown at Manchester Cornerhouse to a nice round of applause, which then opened up the door down the road at the home of Coronation Street. Blagg also had his own column in the Big Issue for a couple of months. Called "From the desk of John E Blagg", it featured a picture of an empty desk and some surreal ramblings of the egocentric regional journalist. Fundamentally, the character was supposed to be a study on all that was wrong in TV from a Dennis Potter-esque point of view. This is also why it failed to go any further, cos that's not what TV producers want to hear. Is it funny ? Who knows. I still like this and, interestingly, it was script edited by Bafta winning comedy genius Dave Gorman (see davegorman.com) who I knew in a previous incarnation when I set up the Live Poets Society in 1990. If there are any good gags in this, Dave can probably take the credit. There is also a bit of sound dropout in this Quicktime movie – something that happened technically that is not worth going into here. Final note – we were really lucky to get Diana Davies and Bruce Jones for this. Diana has been a trooper on TV for 30 years, and Bruce did this just before he got the part of Les Battersby in Corra. He wasn’t happy when he found out how little he was getting paid, but last time I spoke to him he still seemed fairly proud of it.